Why does a bad decision feel so right before we make it?
Uncertain? We don’t feel uncertain.
Confusing? It doesn’t feel confusing.
Right. It feels like the right choice.
Knowable. We feel like we have enough information to act.
Urgent. We feel compelled to move forward now.
True. It feels emotionally true.
And then we make it.
And it’s wrong.
THE STORY
I remember that man.
The one who sold his house.
Quit his job.
Moved countries for love.
I didn’t focus on what he did.
What stayed with me was how he explained it.
“It just felt right,” he told me.
“I didn’t even question it.”
Why did he say that?
Part of me wondered if he already knew it would come back to haunt him.
MAKING DECISIONS
We rarely make big decisions that feel:
Scary.
Doubtful.
Wrong.
There’s always a reason we felt sure…
even if the decision turns out to be wrong.
When we make important decisions…
especially when we feel emotionally charged…
we are almost never embracing confusion.
It feels certain because…
in that moment…
it is certain to us.
That’s the part we fail to understand when we look back.
Looking back is easy.
Hindsight always is.
But that wasn’t your experience when you made the decision.
You didn’t feel unsure.
You felt right.
We often assume poor decisions come from not thinking.
But many come from the opposite.
They come from feeling too sure.
WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING
As emotions rise…
the mind begins to simplify.
Not because life is simple…
but because the mind is trying to feel better.
Uncertainty creates anxiety.
Fear creates discomfort.
Emotional pressure demands relief.
So we resolve it.
Quickly.
And the brain…
remarkably efficient…
helps us feel like we’ve solved the problem.
THE SCIENCE
When emotional pressure rises…
the brain shifts into alarm mode.
The amygdala signals urgency.
Stress hormones increase.
Attention narrows.
And the prefrontal cortex…
the part responsible for planning, reflection, and judgment…
steps back.
Not because it disappears.
But because it is no longer in charge.
You didn’t feel unsure.
You felt convinced.
Mentally certain.
Emotionally aligned.
That’s why people say:
“I knew it was the right thing to do.”
“It felt so clear.”
“I didn’t even question it.”
And they’re not wrong.
It did feel clear.
But clarity is not the same as accuracy.
REAL LIFE
We see this everywhere.
You send a text you regret.
You return to a relationship you promised yourself you’d leave.
You make a financial decision you knew you shouldn’t make.
It doesn’t feel like a mistake.
It feels like relief.
The pressure lifts.
The discomfort fades.
And your mind quietly tells you:
“This must be right.”
But often…
it’s not right.
It’s relief.
THE TRUTH
We struggle with decisions because they force us to sit with uncertainty.
And for many people…
that feels unbearable.
So we move.
We decide.
We resolve.
Not always because it’s correct…
but because it feels better.
This is not a failure of intelligence.
It’s timing.
You made a decision inside an emotional state…
that prioritized immediate relief over long-term clarity.
THE SHIFT
Instead of asking:
“Why did I make such a bad decision?”
Ask:
“What feeling was this decision trying to relieve?”
Is it solving something real?
Or relieving something emotional?
Does this need to happen now?
Or will clarity improve if I wait?
WHAT YOU CAN DO
You don’t need to eliminate emotion.
You need to create space.
Even a small pause can change everything.
Not to stop the decision…
but to understand it.
That pause allows your thinking brain to catch up with your feeling brain.
THE TAKEAWAY
This won’t prevent every regret.
But it will change your relationship with your decisions.
Because in that space…
between feeling and action…
something important happens.
You become aware.
And with awareness…
comes choice.
Not always over the outcome.
But over how you respond to it.
Dr. Jassam is a practicing medical doctor in Canada with additional qualifications and extended training in psychiatry. He holds a postgraduate diploma in psychiatry from the Royal College of Physicians of Ireland and a master’s degree from the University of Melbourne. He is also the author of several books on ADHD, panic disorder, burnout, and other mental health topics. His writing combines medical evidence, psychiatric knowledge, and clinical experience.
