Why does money become something bigger than money?
Why does more money make us feel like we have more worth… and less money make us feel inadequate?
Why do we associate our level of success with how much we earn or own?
And why is it that sometimes…
It’s not really about money at all…
It’s about what we believe money says about us?
THE REALITY
He didn’t want to just earn more money.
He wanted to feel like he was successful.
Like he was accomplished.
Like he was enough.
Every time he reached a financial milestone…
He felt good.
It wasn’t about the dollar amount…
It was what that number represented to him:
“I’m successful.”
“I’m not struggling.”
“I’m on the right track.”
But then there were the days…
When life didn’t go as planned.
When he felt like he’d stalled or was not moving forward…
Those feelings changed.
And they didn’t turn into motivation.
Instead they became personal.
He wasn’t just disappointed that he wasn’t reaching his goals.
It felt like he wasn’t good enough.
WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING
When we tie money to our worth…
Money stops being just a representation of value.
Money becomes how we measure our value.
Not factually…
But psychologically.
Over time we begin to assign meaning to our bank accounts.
Earn more money = more success
Have less money = less success
And slowly our minds start to associate that with…
More money = I am successful
Less money = I am failing
THE LINK WITH IDENTITY
Our mind begins to create an identity around our finances.
“It doesn’t define me…” we say.
But subconsciously…
“I make a lot of money” becomes “I am a successful person.”
“I am having money problems” becomes “I am failing.”
When money becomes your identity…
Every gain feels like an accomplishment.
And every loss feels like failure.
HOW YOUR BRAIN JUSTIFIES IT
Our brains like shortcuts.
They constantly look for ways to take mental shortcuts.
To help us understand the world around us.
So they use money as a metric.
A way to assign worth to…
Your progress
Your status
Your value
Not because that thing is true…
But because it’s simple.
As long as your brain associates who you are with money…
It will equate your value to your bank account.
THE SCIENCE
Our brains naturally compare us with other people.
We’re always comparing our salaries to our coworkers…
Our cars to our neighbors…
Our clothes to those we see online.
It’s how we understand where we fit in.
Because of this… your brain links money to your value.
An external comparison → Internal value
And now your identity is tied to your bank account. Simple as that.
REAL LIFE EXAMPLES
This is why you…
Feel great about life when you’re winning at money
Feel down when you’re not
Compare your salary to your friends
Let your net worth define your success
Feel like you’re ahead or behind in life because of a number
To someone else watching…
You are just focused on improving your life.
To you…
It feels like everyone is judging your worth.
THE TRUTH
Money has no correlation to your value as a human.
THE SHIFT
Money is not your identity.
Your income is not you
Your net worth is not you
Your financial status is not you
Those are labels. They describe things about you…
But they don’t define who you are as a person.
HOW TO STOP IT
Next time you feel high or low about yourself because of money…
Take a step back.
And ask yourself:
Is this feeling about money?
Or is this feeling about how I perceive myself?
This question creates a disconnect between your financial state and your identity.
THE SOLUTION
You can still care about money.
You can still want better for yourself and your family.
But you cannot let money become who you are.
Separate your identity from your income.
As long as you define yourself by dollars and cents…
You will constantly be feeling high and low because of things outside of your control.
THE KEY
Just because you earn a high six-figure income doesn’t mean you are more deserving than someone making minimum wage.
And when you earn less…
It doesn’t make you any less of a person either.
Your worth is not defined by your income.
LET IT SINK IN
You are the same no matter what your bank account looks like.
And once you realize that…
You won’t feel the need to make more money to feel better about yourself.
Money becomes a tool instead of a measure of your worth.
And move towards creating a life that you feel is successful.
Dr. Jassam is a practicing medical doctor in Canada with additional qualifications and extended training in psychiatry. He holds a postgraduate diploma in psychiatry from the Royal College of Physicians of Ireland and a master’s degree from the University of Melbourne. He is also the author of several books on ADHD, panic disorder, burnout, and other mental health topics. His writing combines medical evidence, psychiatric knowledge, and clinical experience.
